Have celebrity baby names set a baby naming trend? – Part 4

Celebrity and celebrity baby names have always triggered a naming trend -hell, everyone knows at least two Dianas, and my kids will each probably know four, when they finally arrive. I am grateful in my belief, however, that no one in my generation relishes calling their precious offspring by the name of a fruit (Gwyneth Paltrow’s “Apple” WHY?) Nor are they interested in giving that offspring a name that even a pet would refuse (Angelina Jolie’s “Maddox”) which also sounds like a foul-tasting medicine (as in “Oh yeah, I had that -I recommend 2 ladles of Maddox to clear your system.”)

It is perhaps unfortunate that neither Apple nor Maddox feature in the world’s list of “Parents Who Want To Guarantee Their Children Psychological Problems.” No, that list is headed by Mr. Frank Zappa, with children named “Moon Unit”, “Dweezil” and “Diva Muffin.” A close second, in my opinion is Paula Yates with, I kid you not: “Heavenly Hirani Tiger Lily” matched by Bono’s buster “Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q.” We may forgive David Bowie, for naming his kid “Zowie,” and, at a stretch, even Sharleen Spiteri of Texas for naming hers “Misty Kyd” but who but God could forgive Jermaine Jackon for naming one of his kids “Jermajesty”? Nor Jason Lee for naming his “Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf”, which almost makes Jermajesty sound like Antoine? And WHO could manage the lie that either Penn Jillette’s “Moxie CrimeFighter”, Gerry Halliwell’s “Bluebell Madonna” or Nick Cage’s “Kal-El” will undergo a happy, mentally healthy childhood? Not me. And not my generation.